i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.