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Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
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