I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
