You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
