he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
