So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
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Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
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Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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