yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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