dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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