How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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