He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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