i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize