i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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