You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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