He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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