Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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