I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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