I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He felt like a one man threesome
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
