Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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