if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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