i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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