well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i love accidental penises.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
