I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
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Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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