is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize