i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
