so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
