? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
