I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
