so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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