Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
