Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So vagazzling was a success
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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