Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
