our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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