so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
