Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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