Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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