just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
