it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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