nut hugger
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
