Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
