The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize