Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
