she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Will exercising make me less horny?
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