Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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