Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
