I just made out with a guy for $7.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
