is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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