like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i would one night stand the shit outta him
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Randomize
