Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
