im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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