Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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