I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
