whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Is it penis luge time yet?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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