Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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