How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
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