Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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