is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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