JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
